32 Matt Groening Quotes

Matt Groening quotes

1. Yes, I'll sign your doll. I like to give my autograph to anyone, anytime, anywhere. But why be happy with just an autograph? How about an original sketch or a snippet of my hair? Don't forget to pull on the beard; they say it's good luck!

2. People are throwing panties at you. They certainly never do that at my book-signings.

3. All my friends say I should leave him because he's mean, angry, and abusive. I need to get some new friends.

4. Are we alone in an uncaring universe, or is God some kind of wiseguy?

5. He's very sensitive to my moods. I just wish he didn't cringe so much.

6. Love is a perky elf dancing a merry little jig, then suddenly he turns on you with a miniature machine gun.

7. Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come.

8. The longer it takes me to find Mr. Right, the more he's going to pay for keeping me waiting.

9. We're getting on each other's nerves too much. I think we need to spend more time together.

10. When authorities warn you of the sinfulness of sex, there is an important lesson to be learned. Do not have sex with the authorities.

11. Where do babies come from? Don't bother asking adults. They lie like pigs. However, diligent independent research and hours of playground consultation have yielded fruitful, if tentative, results. There are several theories. Near as we can figure out, it has something to do with acting ridiculous in the dark. We believe it is similar to dogs when they act peculiar and ride each other. This is called 'making love'. Careful study of popular song lyrics, advertising catch-lines, TV sitcoms, movies, and T-Shirt inscriptions offers us significant clues as to its nature. Apparently it makes grown-ups insipid and insane. Some graffiti was once observed that said 'sex is good.' All available evidence, however, points to the contrary.

12. If at first you don't succeed, give it up. It isn't worth the pain.

13. I pretend to listen:.what more does she want?

14. I don't know why I did it, I don't know why I enjoyed it, and I don't care

15. Families are about love overcoming emotional torture.

16. God often gives nuts to toothless people.

17. My tastes are much more obscure than you think. The other day, this reporter asked me who my favorite Spice Girl was and I was like, 'I dunno, but ask me about percussion ensembles from Senegal'.

18. I pledge impertinence to the flag waving, of the unindicted co-conspirators of America, and to the republicans for which I can't stand, one abomination, underhanded fraud, indefensible, with Liberty and Justice... Forget it.

1. I'm a level 5 vegan, I don't eat anything that casts a shadow.

2. You just have to keep in mind that the important relationship is the relationship with the audience. That's what I try to do. Everything else is secondary.

3. I draw a weekly comic strip called Life in Hell, which is syndicated in about 250 newspapers. That's what I did before The Simpsons, and what I plan to do for the rest of my life.

4. We've got a bunch of new writers now who tell me they grew up watching The Simpsons. It's bizarre, and they're writing some very funny stuff.

5. I was always frightened by taverns. They just seemed like very unpleasant places to go.

6. There's always room out there for the hand-drawn image. I personally like the imperfection of hand drawing as opposed to the slick look of computer animation. But you can do good stuff either way. The Pixar movies are amazing in what they do, but there's plenty of independent animators who are doing really amazing things as well.

7. People go into cartooning because they're shy and they're angry. That's when you're sitting in the back of a classroom drawing the teacher.

8. Keep your expectations tiny you'll go through life not so whiney.

9. Cartooning is for people who can't quite draw and can't quite write. You combine the two half-talents and come up with a career.

10. On 'The Simpsons,' I will say that we definitely like to comment on what's going on in the world, and we try to be funny. If we can figure out a way of being funny about it, then we've gone part of the way of accomplishing our task.

11. First you get the sugar, then you get the power, then you get the women.

12. The tendency in comedy is to have a character who's stupid get more stupid, because you're trying to top yourself and not just repeat.

13. 'The Simpsons' from the very beginning was based on our memories of brash '60s sitcoms - you had a main title theme that was bombastic and grabbed your attention - and when you look at TV shows of the 1970s and '80s, things got very mild and toned down and... obsequious.

14. The conundrum that I face on a daily basis is that I have two sons who have grown up watching 'The Simpsons,' so they know exactly what buttons to push. They know how Bart irritates Homer, and they use these lines against me to tell me that I'm not funny anymore.