- I got used to dealing with groups of boys and getting on with life in unpleasant circumstances and being smart and funny and subversive at the expense of authority.
- Basically, the Germans came to us and said, 'We don't have a sense of humour.'
- Typical Hollywood crowd - all the kids are on drugs, and all the adults are on roller skates.
- American Beer is a lot like making love on a canoe - it's fucking close to water.
- At least one way of measuring the freedom of any society is the amount of comedy that is permitted, and clearly a healthy society permits more satirical comment than a repressive, so that if comedy is to function in some way as a safety release then it must obviously deal with these taboo areas. This is part of the responsibility we accord our licensed jesters, that nothing be excused the searching light of comedy. If anything can survive the probe of humour it is clearly of value, and conversely all groups who claim immunity from laughter are claiming special privileges which should not be granted.
- As long as there are innocent nickels to be made from the gullible, Python-starved public, I shall be out there dressed in silly frocks and singing filthy lyrics. I'm coming your way in search of ancient dollars.
- Bear in mind the simple rule, X squared to the power of two minus five over the seven point eight three times nineteen is approximately equal to the cube root of MCC squared divided by X minus a quarter of a third percent. Keep that in mind, and you can't go very far wrong.
- The Minister of Transport issued this appeal to motorists: Can anyone give him a lift to Leicester?
- We would only do a (Monty Python) reunion if Graham (Chapman) came back from the dead. So we're negotiating with his agent.