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6 Yakov Smirnoff Quotes

Yakov Smirnoff offers sharp, satirical jokes about politics, freedom and censorship that bite with a grin.

Yakov Smirnoff quotes

  1. In America, you can always find a party. In Soviet Russia, The Party can always find you!

    #1

  2. Homosexuality in Russia is a crime and the punishment is seven years in prison, locked up with the other men. There is a three year waiting list.

    #2

  3. The ad in the paper said 'Big Sale. Last Week.' Why advertise? I already missed it. They're just rubbing it in.

    #3

  4. In Russia we only had two TV channels. Channel One was propaganda. Channel Two consisted of a KGB officer telling you: Turn back at once to Channel One.

    #4

  5. Many people are surprised to hear that we have comedians in Russia, but they are there. They are dead, but they are there.

    #5

  6. (When asked by Johnny Carson what he liked most about living in the United States versus living in Russia.) 'Warning shots. In the U.S. the police shoot in the air - in Russia they shoot straight ahead, that's warning for the next guy.'

    #6