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15 Weird Al Yankovic Quotes

Weird Al Yankovic's page feels like a zany, witty mash-up on tech, copyright and justice, perfect for fans of clever parody.

Weird Al Yankovic quotes

  1. Alanis Morissette and I actually used to date. I especially liked it when we went to the movies.

    #1

  2. That's something the kids should know about. Reading is a gateway to witchcraft and lesbianism.

    #2

  3. I wrote 'Eat It' because I wanted to buy a house. It worked.

    #3

  4. I have very mixed feelings about [Napster]. On one hand, I'm concerned that the rampant downloading of my copyright-protected material over the Internet is severely eating into my album sales and having a decidedly adverse effect on my career. On the other hand, I can get all the Metallica songs I want for FREE! WOW!!!!!

    #4

  5. What kind of morons do you have working at newspapers in Austin that would base an entire review of an artist's performance on whether or not they had a good seat?

    #5

    Attribution disputed; shown as originally published.

  6. I think my chances of getting into the Rock 'N' Roll Hall Of Fame are about as good as Milli Vanilli's.

    #6

  7. My brothers and sisters all hated me 'cause I was an only child.

    #7

  8. I'll never forget the first thing she said to me: 'Hey - you have weasels all over your face.' Right then I knew it was true love.

    #8

  9. Shoppin' online for deals on some writable media I edit Wikipedia

    #9

  10. I'm nerdy to the extreme Whiter than sour cream

    #10

  11. I sued Taco Bell 'Cause I ate half a million Chalupas And I got fat! I sued Panasonic They never said I shouldn't use their microwave To dry off my cat!

    #11

  12. Oh, you don't wanna mess with the R-I-double-A They'll sue you if you burn that CD-R It doesn't matter if you're a grandma, or a seven-year-old girl They'll treat you like the evil, hard-bitten, criminal scum you are

    #12

  13. Never had a date That you couldn't inflate

    #13

  14. If money can't buy happiness, I guess I'll have to rent it.

    #14

  15. Well, besides working on the album, I got married and had a kid. So, you know, in spite of that petition that was floating around asking me not to reproduce, I did it anyway.

    #15